0422

12/04/2011~[ten days to go^^yahoooooo!!!!!]
is APRIL now^^
my birthday is coming~~~SOON!!!!!!
shhhhhhh......
mummy say cant celebrate....
because of the KIRA NYAWA geh=.=
said wat...my unlucky still haven't gone.....
18...din celebrate...
19....also>.<
wanna wait wait wait....
but wat the definition for celebrate????o.0
go out gai gai...can????
receive present ...can?????
eat ice-cream cake....can???
hmmmmmm~~~~
tis year i wish....
~i can dye my hair~~
~my account's money wont finis by me>.<
~i can go out for one day without time limit^^[impossible!!!!!]
~my mum wont become so strict....
~get closer wif family=]
~all my fren happy=]
~i can get good result in study[to prove to my mum tat i din choose wrong]
~i wish my fren can come to my house n gv my mum c c ^^[tis.....too difficult~~]
~i wish all my wish come true~~
hahahahahahahahahaXDDDD[how greedy m i>.<]

just a day wanna celebrate with u all n leave a wonderful bravo memory in my mind^^

10/04/2011
went FRIM for hiking n playing waterfall..
with SMP fren^^
a wonderful day =]
i never tot tat i will go hiking wif fren...
cuz i have no sport cell=.=
but...
it's really fun...
thanks to all~~
i hope i still have chances to go^^

################################################

last paper on 14th....
gambateh all^^
i hope i will get a good result....
dun wan cry when taking result...very fish arrrrrr>.<

have big improvement to our relationship...mum=/
at least now v talk.....
i hope tis condition can stay for a long time.....
can v????
i just dun like argue....n feel tat home not sweet n warm>.<

stupid=.=

刚刚去做了一件这世人发誓了永远不再做的东西。。。。

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz=.=

可是。。。这次我竟然没有心痛的感觉。。。。

从他写的东西看来。。。他已经忘记我了。。。

他也有新对象了。。。还在考虑要不要追。。。

以前的我一看到这些。。。一定会很伤心很生气很心痛。。。

可是不懂为什么。。。今天没有~~~

开心开心=]

还是我放下了？？？？

可能吗？？？？

an unexpected day~

28/03/2011

Monday ~~~

din go college but accompany a kimchi go hospital>.<

actually v plan to watch movie after c dr~~~

but ALL dr n nurse at there have a 'good' habit...

they like to do things slow n 'be careful'~~

therefore v cant go for movie~~

BUT...

v go for karaoke^^

after stay a long long time in the hospital~~~

at last v can escape from the hell T.T

v go to MUTIARA book room n sing k~~~

i have been a long time din sing k edi..

relaxNya^^

i like to go out play before exam~~~

either watch movie or sing k=]

cuz...i easy to get into stress n very damn easy emo~~~~

many unexpected things happen~~~

when sing k~~

i choose many song tat related bout me n 'ex'..

i still will pain~~when thinking bout those past~~

therefore

i decided to tell someone>.<

pls DUN WAIT ME~~

cuz i scare...

i scare i will let u disappointed...let u hurt~~

n i scare i will get hurt AGAIN!!!!

for someone~~~

i will take care myself when u r not around me~~

gambateh for both of us~~~^^

disappointed~~~T.T

next week friday~~~25/3/2011

all my fren are going to genting~~~~wat a sound good trip....

they will b going for one day~~~

but..

i can't...

because my mum don allow....

haiz...

i feel very sad...quite sad....

yesterday night....

i ask my mum

"can i go genting wif my fren???next week friday..."

she tell me in a nice tone tat i can't....

i keep asking...but she still not allow....

mayb....i should receive my faith....

yesterday night i keep telling myself....

"never mind....never mind....genting won't move away....still have next chance....still have many chances....fren won't leave u...."

but...

at last i still cried....

full with hope...

end with nothing.....

everytime....

dun knw y....i scare...

i scare if i din go tgt....

i will have distance with them.....

1st time...2nd time....3rd time.....

they mayb will alienated me....

or mayb not...

juz....

dun knw arrrr~~~

feel very beh song now...T.T

so....

i planning to ponteng one day d work.....

find some best fren....

n go out to play tgt^^

hahahahahaXDDD

to relieve stress n so on^^

emo time~~~=P

as my mum wishes
i find a part time job
jusco sushi king~~~~
wat a damn shit tired work to do....
salary little....
stafff like shit....
hahahahaha~~
half of the salary still wanna gv to my mum....
is ok...becuz they r parents..should gv d...
then i have to ikat perut ikat tangan to control n save my purse~~~=(
haiz~~~~T^T

a short sem start....
a tired sem also...
all things have to rush...
if not....all cant handle...
now i reli feel cant handle....
i feel like i have become weaker....
when i saw my result drop...my confidence drop too...
feel like wanna give up many things....
my fren told me...
dun expect too high for my last sem becuz there r many things happen to me in my last sem....
can tis b a excuse????
ya~~many things happen...
love d...family d...fren d...
only education din appear problem...
therefore..i tot i still can handle my education well...
but..i failed...
i saw my result drop...
mayb ...i din put enuf effort....
n the main fault is i din handle every problem in a well manage....wat a failure i have done~~T.T

recently i meet a old fren n knew a new fren....
both of them facing same problem like me...
one is loving a ppl whom wont have future....
another is juz break wif her bf....
me...
is loving a ppl tat wont have future n juz break wif him...
is tis still count as juz break????
4th month is coming~~~
n both of my fren told me...
i haven't put it down...
is tis real????
my heart start doubting myself...
i tot i put everythings down...
mayb not everythings...
but at least 50%....
but both of them told me...
"NOPE...U R NOT PUTTIN ANYTHINGS DOWN!!!!"
wat a bad news for me....
maybe i should not think so much n should not believe wat they say.....
i should....believe myself~~~~~
i will put it down....
SOON!!!!!!

u have a new life tat without me...
same for me~~~~
i will have a NICE
PRETTY
FINE life without u...

=]

希望？？？

这几天不懂干吗。。。。心情都很不好。。。

可能是因为最近一直想起我们的事吧。。。。

昨天你问我。。。如果有一天我有男友了。。。可以告诉你吗。。。

我回答你说。。。如果你有女友了。。。你会告诉我。。。我也会告诉你。。。

这几天。。像很多我们以前的东西。。。原来以前的我们真的。。。不是很开心。。。

在一起的时候。。。很多事情发生。。。很多东西都弄到我们累了。。。

可是。。就因为我们都相信。。。我们是相爱的。。。所以都忍了。。。不是吗？？？

可是时间一久。。。慢慢的越来越累了。。。爱越来越少了。。。

谁还愿意去忍啊？？？就这样。。。吵架分手。。吵架分手。。。

到最后我们就真的分手了。。。

我很想对你做到最绝。。。可能。。这样可以断了我心里一直都有的希望。。。

我一直以为时间一久。。。我真的可以忘记。。。可以放下。。。

过后才知道。。。还没有。。。

我开始又迷惘了。。。

很想恨你。。。

可是辛苦了自己。。。

想回以前的事情。。。尤其是我们吵架。。。你怎样不理我。。。

怎样骂我。。。就会觉得分了多好。。。

可是越想。。。我就越想你越不开心。。。到底这是什么心理啊？？？？

可能。。。你还是有一点好。。。让我不舍得说你完全坏。。。

就像以前每次吵架。。。你骂我的时候。。。。

心里都为你找借口一样。。。迁就你。。。

可能我还没完全发泄出来吧。。。。

现在的我。。。至少知道。。。你和我。。。已经是不同世界的人了。。。

我可以了解你兄弟的心情。。。因为我们都是爱到很深然后就被抛弃的人。。。

先说再见的人。。。就不会痛的。。。是吗？？？

会痛。。可是比不上被抛弃的痛。。。。

你知道吗？？？？

我很不清楚昨天你将问我是什么意思。。。

只希望。。。现在有人可以把我给弄醒。。。把那个希望给弄灭。。。

新年快乐。。。^^

新年要到了。。。虽然我没得过。。。可是还是有那么一点点得开心。。。。

我想。。。大家也是一样吧~~~~

妈妈做了很多新年饼。。。。

有纸菜饼。。。芽菇饼。。。还有黄梨酥。。。。

很想吃完它哦。。可是妈妈做来送人的。。。。T^T

还有一个星期多。。。就过年了。。。

今年的新年应该会很不同吧。。。

家里多了两个表哥。。。我呢。。。又在做工。。。哈哈。。。

做工。。。对。。。做工。。。

其实。。。我很喜欢做工。。。至少。。。我不用呆在家。。。

可是。。。我不喜欢。。。做了工。。。薪水全都给完妈妈的那种感觉。。。

没得像其他朋友一样。。。享受自己的薪水。。。

有时我会觉得我和大家都有种距离。。。

说不上是怎样的感觉。。。就只是知道。。。不好受。。。

一直一直。。。想把自己和大家的关系拉好。。。。

是我太在意这些东西了吗？？？？

那天你找我。。。可是我在忙。。。没回到你的信。。。。

你问我最近过得好吗？？？

可是我没回到。。。

然后你叫我会你的信。。。还打电话来。。。

我才知道有人找我。。。

我告诉你我在忙。。。迟点找你。。。

等我的空了。。回你的信。。。

我说。。‘hihi...找我吗？’

你只是回我。。。没有了。。。

我当时者的不知道我应该有什么反应。。。

原来。。。我还是那么不重要。。。

我已经很控制我自己不去想你的一切。。。。可是。。。心还是会痛。。。

告诉我。。。应该怎样？？？

昨天和朋友出去看戏买东西。。。

感觉很开心。。。很爽。。。

自从认识了你。。。我每次去times square都好像。。。多多少少都有一点关于你。。。。

帮你买衣。。。和你出去。。。

想下。。。其实我和你的回忆。。。。最多是信息的时候。。。

其他时候。。。好像都没了。。。。使我忘记了吗？？？？

还是真的没有？？？？？

有时真的会迷失自己。。。不知道应该怎样。。。