Tuesday, May 6, 2014

我讨厌我自己

因为自己的疏忽
我让爸爸开错了bank draft
应该要开给学校的
我却开在自己的名字

后悔
后悔自己让自己堕落
让自己糊里糊涂
让自己不再长进
让自己退步

我讨厌我自己

以前的我不会这样的
以前的我并没有那么弱
并没有那么不清楚

到底什么改变了自己
什么东西让我的抗压力变弱了
什么东西让我不再进步

朋友吗
我好像只有这个答案

朋友改变了我很多
同时让我看到了人的心理变化
怎样从一个熟悉的人
变成一个陌生人

没人记得你为他们做的
只是自己的执著让自己受伤
我不怪人

人家帮你
是讲人情
不帮你
是讲道理

到现在
才慢慢懂得这个道理

到现在
才知道朋友是曲终人散

迟吗?
我怕迟。
只可以谢谢他们伤害到的是我的心
不是我的钱财或我的生命
信任少了
我们会远的
到时候
我们只是认识的人
不再是朋友
我的执着会留给对的人

谢谢,再见友情。

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Bachelor in UK

Currently finished study advanced diploma ~
Started the study for Bachelor~

Needed to finish two module at TARUC before I go UK ><

About classes :
Attended a few classes and feel very confused and worries ~
Their ascent and language are the difficulty for me...
I cant understand what they said...
Therefore I cant understand what is the subject talk about ~
Seriously very worry about the study in UK ><
Somemore everyone is very hardworking doing their coursework their study.
And I still very relax ~
Enjoying the world ><
I think I seriously need to change my attitude !!!!!

About financial support :
I don't know how my dad prepare the money..
I don't know either he is prepared...
But I think he is prepared...
When we talk and discuss about the money ~
I think he is suffer ~
40k MYR
After exchange it is just 8,000GBP
Maybe lesser than that..
Furthermore, I will use around 10,000MYR here to buy all my necessities.
which include flight ticket, daily use necessities, clothes, luggage, and Ipad ==
I feel guilty ~
If I never spent so much maybe I can save around 10k and can release some of his burden.
Or maybe I should start to save the 40k once I select to study in Tarc.
I should do this once I know this is the path.
But I used up all my money :(
For my own satisfaction .......

Feel sad for my dad.
He need to cover the whole family expenses.
So suffer.
So tough.

I swear !
I wanna fight hard when I start my work.
I wanna earn as much as possible.
I wanna help to lesser my family burden !!

I will ~
This is my life, this is my challenges ^^
I will fight till the end ~

Thank you Dad !
Thank you Mum !
Thank you my Family !

As a eldest daughter ~
I will try my best to be the support for my family ^^
You don't have a son but I will be the son ~
I will let you all have no worries about your old age life ^^

Aza aza fighting ^^