an unexpected day~

28/03/2011

Monday ~~~

din go college but accompany a kimchi go hospital>.<

actually v plan to watch movie after c dr~~~

but ALL dr n nurse at there have a 'good' habit...

they like to do things slow n 'be careful'~~

therefore v cant go for movie~~

BUT...

v go for karaoke^^

after stay a long long time in the hospital~~~

at last v can escape from the hell T.T

v go to MUTIARA book room n sing k~~~

i have been a long time din sing k edi..

relaxNya^^

i like to go out play before exam~~~

either watch movie or sing k=]

cuz...i easy to get into stress n very damn easy emo~~~~

many unexpected things happen~~~

when sing k~~

i choose many song tat related bout me n 'ex'..

i still will pain~~when thinking bout those past~~

therefore

i decided to tell someone>.<

pls DUN WAIT ME~~

cuz i scare...

i scare i will let u disappointed...let u hurt~~

n i scare i will get hurt AGAIN!!!!

for someone~~~

i will take care myself when u r not around me~~

gambateh for both of us~~~^^

disappointed~~~T.T

next week friday~~~25/3/2011

all my fren are going to genting~~~~wat a sound good trip....

they will b going for one day~~~

but..

i can't...

because my mum don allow....

haiz...

i feel very sad...quite sad....

yesterday night....

i ask my mum

"can i go genting wif my fren???next week friday..."

she tell me in a nice tone tat i can't....

i keep asking...but she still not allow....

mayb....i should receive my faith....

yesterday night i keep telling myself....

"never mind....never mind....genting won't move away....still have next chance....still have many chances....fren won't leave u...."

but...

at last i still cried....

full with hope...

end with nothing.....

everytime....

dun knw y....i scare...

i scare if i din go tgt....

i will have distance with them.....

1st time...2nd time....3rd time.....

they mayb will alienated me....

or mayb not...

juz....

dun knw arrrr~~~

feel very beh song now...T.T

so....

i planning to ponteng one day d work.....

find some best fren....

n go out to play tgt^^

hahahahahaXDDD

to relieve stress n so on^^

emo time~~~=P

as my mum wishes
i find a part time job
jusco sushi king~~~~
wat a damn shit tired work to do....
salary little....
stafff like shit....
hahahahaha~~
half of the salary still wanna gv to my mum....
is ok...becuz they r parents..should gv d...
then i have to ikat perut ikat tangan to control n save my purse~~~=(
haiz~~~~T^T

a short sem start....
a tired sem also...
all things have to rush...
if not....all cant handle...
now i reli feel cant handle....
i feel like i have become weaker....
when i saw my result drop...my confidence drop too...
feel like wanna give up many things....
my fren told me...
dun expect too high for my last sem becuz there r many things happen to me in my last sem....
can tis b a excuse????
ya~~many things happen...
love d...family d...fren d...
only education din appear problem...
therefore..i tot i still can handle my education well...
but..i failed...
i saw my result drop...
mayb ...i din put enuf effort....
n the main fault is i din handle every problem in a well manage....wat a failure i have done~~T.T

recently i meet a old fren n knew a new fren....
both of them facing same problem like me...
one is loving a ppl whom wont have future....
another is juz break wif her bf....
me...
is loving a ppl tat wont have future n juz break wif him...
is tis still count as juz break????
4th month is coming~~~
n both of my fren told me...
i haven't put it down...
is tis real????
my heart start doubting myself...
i tot i put everythings down...
mayb not everythings...
but at least 50%....
but both of them told me...
"NOPE...U R NOT PUTTIN ANYTHINGS DOWN!!!!"
wat a bad news for me....
maybe i should not think so much n should not believe wat they say.....
i should....believe myself~~~~~
i will put it down....
SOON!!!!!!

u have a new life tat without me...
same for me~~~~
i will have a NICE
PRETTY
FINE life without u...

=]